Setting Boundaries

Have  you ever experienced an interaction with another individual that you may have classified as a "close talker"? Everyone's body requires a different range of space for comfort during social interactions. Therefore, a person who you classify as a "close talker" I may not. In this case, it is important to listen to your body and meet your needs to ensure comfort instead of prioritizing someone else's comfortability. Give yourself permission to step away. If the person steps forward, allow yourself permission to verbalize your need and politely state, "I just need to take a step back for comfort, thanks." The other person will generally understand your need.

If you notice that your body is uncomfortable as a result of how someone is speaking to you, give yourself permission to voice your needs or concerns. Say to the person, "I feel disrespected by that."  If the interaction was escalated understand that you are clearly communicating your limitation regarding your unwillingness to engage in that manner by removing yourself from that situation. When the person settles you can revisit and verbalize, "I will not engage in any conversation with you in that manner. If you are unable to talk with me respectfully, I will not be a part of the discussion." This informs the person for future reference that you do not engage in power struggles or yelling matches, so don't attempt interactions like this with you. It instills healthy patterns and standards and establishes a respect level for you moving forward. 

In an interaction when you are sharing an idea or desire and others are shooting it down or criticizing it in a disrespectful manner, it is important to express your feelings. This will not only set a boundary within the dynamic of the external relationship, but it will also strengthen the relationship that you have with self. You can express yourself using a statement such as: "That sounds really negative, I don't appreciate that type of feedback. It's important to stay open minded as everyone brings a different perspective."  This provides you space to be who you are in that particular moment regardless of differences with an open mind. 

As we continue our journey of working through codependent traits, it's crucial to stay true to ourselves. It's important to maintain our own beliefs and values while also holding space and showing appreciation for other's. If we experience any discomfort regarding any jokes or comments that are made about our belief systems, we should confidently express our feelings. We should not hesitate to speak up if something doesn't sit right with us. Sometimes, it can be difficult to detect when we are triggered by something someone says. If we feel a pit in our stomach, we can simply ask the person to refrain from discussing that particular topic. We can say, "That really didn't sit well with me. Let's not discuss that topic when we are together." Alternatively, we could agree to disagree on a particular topic. 

Sexual boundaries are very important as sex is one of the most vulnerable acts a human being can engage in with another. To violate one's own sexual boundaries, they are violating themselves, therefore impacting their relationship with self. It is important to listen to your body, No means No, and needs to be verbalized. This decision needs to be respected and not waivered from, and needs to be followed up by action. 

Setting limits to what you are and are not comfortable with is also important, a series of conversations may be necessary here. This enables vulnerability within a healthy relationship, as well as a mutual understanding of each other's comfortability. In addition this establishes a mutual respect level and compassion for each other.

It is crucial to confidently address any interaction that makes you feel uncomfortable. Whether it is an unwelcome advance, comment, or forced interaction, you must send a clear message that inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated. You have the power to assert your boundaries, report the behavior, or distance yourself as needed. Always prioritize your safety and well-being, and take decisive action to protect yourself when necessary. Remember, your decision to confidently assert your boundaries will send the message to others that you have limitations regarding what you will and will not tolerate, and will send yourself the message that you can instill safety and manage stressors in your life.